Crisis management

Guys are mechanics-right from their childhood they try to fix up every thing, and they feel proud when the job is done, no matter how bad. But don’t try it on every thing. Your girl does not need you to fix up every thing that’s gone wrong, but just be there with her through rough times. Women vent out their emotions by screaming, crying, scolding etc. only then can they plan what to do next. That’s when you can place your humble question” can I help you in any way” and don’t expect a direct and clear answer. Women are never straight. Listen to what she says and try to pick up clues to where the problem lies. Try to give her suggestions which may help or which may have helped you in a similar situation.

Women feel very miserable when in a crisis and even more when they do not know how to handle it. Men usually look at it with a broad overview. Try to throw some light and make her understand that it is actually not that hard a problem or that she can easily get past it with her knowledge and experience on the matter. A situation like not making up to the work deadline at office can make her feel it is the end of her life. Try to make her talk to people who had failed meeting their deadline in the past and how they handled the situation with their boss in the meeting. Such first hand experiences will give her the confidence that she can survive this situation.

Loss of a near and dear one is sure going to take your girl into depression and it is very important that you be with her all through. After the initial period of mourning, try to give company to her and slowly divert her mind from the incident. When she knows that you are taking care of her through her rough times then doubtlessly the sweet times ahead will be cherished for a life time.

When your partner needs help

Women want their men to be by their side and support them through rough times. But for women, every time is rough time- except shopping time. She lost her ear ring, her best friend bitched on her back, her nail polish doesn’t match with the dress, or some really serious ones- and you feel like being there for your girl. What do you do in such situations and how do you help her to overcome the situation. Stress is dealt differently by both men and women. What might be felt as a disastrous situation to your girl friend might be a matter of no interest, or a laughing matter to you. But beware; neither laugh nor loose interest in your partner’s distress. Listen to her. Listening is one of the most important things you have to do to improve a bad situation.

Women are more vocal about their feelings and they need to share it with someone. They need some one to listen to their sorrows and joys. Be an active listener, listen to her and respond to what she says, let her know that you truly and deeply feel for her and her reaction to a situation was quite natural. Assure her that her reaction was very mature or say that it was not crazy of her to feel upset or throw tantrums.

In situations when her spirit is at the lowest ebb, try to be her cheerleader. When faced with a crisis a women’s first thought would be – “I can’t go through this”, convince her she can. Assure her that you are there with her to support her. Help her to overcome her insecurities and pass through the rough phase with ease. Lend her your shoulder to lean upon and she will hold your hand.

Importance of Personal style in relationship

Personal style is very important in relationship. If you cannot impress your partner there won’t be any craze. Many a times we see that after pregnancy women find it difficult to loose weight. Sometimes the ladies become confused whether her partner loves her anymore or not. They want prove for the partner’s love and care. In one word they become insecure. I know one woman she was very insecure after her childbirth and she had a point. Her husband started becoming attracted to slimmer women. The woman used to think that they are together because of their son.

As a matter of fact sometimes we see that men expect their women to bear their child. But after the child’s delivery when they can’t lose their pregnancy weight, the husbands start to look at other women. They fail to appreciate the damage a pregnancy can do to woman’s body. The women went through all the processes from weight gain to sagging and she has to travel the journey along. But I am not saying that all are same. There are exceptions.

For loosing extra weight after pregnancy you need to maintain diet and also do some exercises. You have to eat less and exercise more. I can give you assurance that the weight will disappear. Weight loss surgery is also there such as gastric bypass surgery but these are really troublesome.

I am not telling you to do all these just to save your relation and attract your husband. These are also important for your health. The complete make over will boost up your self confidence. You can also find another relationship very soon. You have to see some other aspects such as Do you have regular intimacy like two lovers? Do you still communicate like people in love? If these are not present in your relationship, it seems that the problem might extend beyond your weight.

Marital rates in Singapore

In Singapore the declining rates in marriage is a global phenomenon. With increased globalization, it is a very natural progression we are going through. It is not even surprising to see that the trend is spreading to too many under developed countries around the world. The emergence of cross-cultural marriages is also seen. In Singapore, it is not hard to spot couples of different races or nationalities walking down busy Orchard Road. This is a metropolitan city and people from all over the world are here for various purposes ranging from work to leisure. But this is not new to Singapore. In earlier days, Singapore has seen cross-cultural marriages between Malays and Chinese. Due to the former status of Singapore as an English colony, marriages between Europeans and Singaporeans are not rare. Thus, a good number of Eurasians can be seen here in Singapore.

Another reason of the increasing rates of cross cultural marriage is in today’s world there is a constant exposure to cultures all over the world. It has been possible through advance mass media such as the Internet and films. The young people today gain easy way in to make friends everywhere. This will eventually serve to encourage marriage across cultures and national boundaries. Singapore Government has recently started a program to persuade Singaporeans to marry early and also to give birth to help balance our aging and declining population. If the policy really works out I think that marriages in Singapore will not decrease so much compare to some other advanced nations.

Now a day females in Singapore have become very conscious. They are well educated and can take own decision. So, it is obvious that men with lower education or wages will definitely lose out as women speak out and make their demands known. So, the fight for equality will continue we just can hope for the increasing rate of social marriages.

Dating a Liar? How to recognize

In Singapore in most of the houses both the partners are working. So if you are in different offices you need to catch up at home only. In such situation if your partner is repeatedly coming home late and telling regular lies you have to act very strongly. One day he may tell you that he was stuck in traffic and the day next some other reason. You have to make out the lie. If the guy was having another relation you have to be extra cautious. If you re asking about the previous relation and guy is checking time and changing subject then there must be some problem.

Try to give him some space if he is taking undue facility then stop him. But according to me you don’t have any right to stop a person from meeting someone if he is in love with someone else. After all this is one life and we have to live our own life. I think transparency in very important in any relation. If your partner is having an affair and is unable to tell you the truth, please go forward and make him comfortable about the thing.

While conversing with your partner keep one point in mind, if you are asking something about his ex-girlfriend and he is telling that everything was the other person’s fault. Then think that your partner is a liar. This may happen in case he is talking about his previous boss and telling that he was not good. With these small instances you can know your partner better. Lastly don’t think that you are helpless and you have to live your life with such a liar. Just live the person and start your life afresh. I am telling you you won’t repent on your decision.

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What to do when your man is having a crisis

Understanding men is quite tough at times. If your partner is having some problem and you don’t know the reason try hard and find the solutions. In most of the time it has been seen that men become more aggressive when they are in crisis. If you can cope up with such a situation he will realize that he can depend on you and will get constant support and better understanding. Don’t interrogate much. They usually get irritated at such times. What is wrong? Why you have become like this? Please avoid these questions otherwise you may face some problems.

Put him in a relaxed zone where he can feel comfortable. Don’t ever think that he is avoiding you as he is already stressed out and he can’t help it anymore. Don’t ever make him think that you are worried. Let him be relaxed and think of his own.

Don’t discuss serious thing when he is depressed. It won’t be easy for him to subscribe. Just give him space so that he can open up. He needs your support badly and you are the person who can help him. But in case he doesn’t want to open up that means the matter is serious. He doesn’t want to share it. One more important thing don’t share your partner’s problem with anyone else. If you keep quite he’ll know he can open up to you without fear that his problems will become public domain. Don’t ever try sex as antidepressant. You may think that it will give him happiness. But NO. Sometimes giving some space speaks a lot.

If finally you are unable to find the reason try to give him a shock therapy. Just say him that since nothing is working out so you are just leaving him behind. I am sure it will work and he will be back to again.

Some changing aspects of Singapore Family

In Singapore, it is a common scene that both the parents are working. In today’s world most of the families are nuclear and that is the reason why children usually feel insecure without their parents. The daycare centers usually solve the problems of the parents and sometimes it affects children’s social, personal, and moral development. Another aspect is divorce or family beak-ups. Single parenting also affects the children a lot. Some of the impact that is seen on a child after seeing a divorce can be mentioned as financial hardships, loss of a parent, emotional stress, low self-esteem, self blame. These are some of the common problems but in general all the children suffer from self confidence.

Some of the points should be noted that are usually common among such children. Some sudden physical, emotional, and behavioural changes can be seen. Emotional signs are generally like the child becomes irritable. He usually feels down or sad. Frustrated or easily gets angry. These are the other features. The physical signs are repeated headaches or stomach pains. Other behavioral signs are difficulty in paying attention or concentrating. These children should be counseled individually regarding changes in their behaviors. They should not feel that they are alone in this earth. Such children should be helped to maintain self-esteem.

Such children or student’s anger should be taken as personally as because they are angry at their parents and sometimes may vent their anger onto you. Educational psychologists or pastoral care teachers can also be provided to help such students. Family service centres, good counseling and mental health centres are there to help such students. The resources should be properly checked that are available in the school. As much as comfort should be provided to such distressed children so that they never felt that they are alone.

Family, Marriage, and Family relationship in Singapore

In Singapore marriage, family and kinship or family relationship is very attention-grabbing. I will try to give an idea about what is what in Singapore. Singapore is always very reluctant about the relationship and its complications and this is the reason why inter-cast marriages are not a problem in Singapore. People don’t like to give undue importance to all these stuff. Some of the aspects of relationships are discussed below:

Marriage: In Singapore Polygamy is allowed among Muslim Malays. Generally in other cases monogamy is the rule. Inter ethnic marriages are not at all common. Now a day divorce is becoming more common. In usual case the average age at first marriage has increased. It can be mentioned that it is expected that young people will live with their parents until they marry.

Inheritance: Traditionally sons inherited family possessions in Singapore. Daughters were expected to marry out of the family. But in today’s world it is seen that the pattern has become less common and sons and daughters are getting equal share.

Domestic Unit: In Singapore, the basic household unit is the nuclear family. Nuclear family means father mother and one or two child. These nuclear families constituted 85 percent of resident households in the year 1990. Close links with relatives on both the husband’s and the wife’s sides are usually maintained in a proper way. The proportionality of households without a family nucleus shirked 26 percent in the year 1957 to 8 percent in the year 1980. It reflects the changes from an immigrant to a settled population. Males usually dominate as heads of households.

Kin Groups: Kin groups play a significant role in all ethnic groups in Singapore. People often move within wide networks of relatives. Clandestinely, kin groups are very important. But politically and economically, they play a marginal role.